FB, you may have to go on lockDOWN soon. And it's not just you . . .

Can someone please tell me why kids between ages, say, 10 and 18 years old think it's o.k. to post things on Facebook like:

1. Cuss words in status updates. This, kiddies, doesn't make you cooler. It just makes you look stupid, immature and severely desperate for attention. We get that you're not the "dork" of your school, but now you just look more like "Regina George." And please, let's not forget what happened to her. She was not the heroine in that movie. Rethink your updates, pronto.

2. Beer (or any alcohol-related) photos. Come on now. Solo cups? Really? Sure, that's what we used in high school. And by we, I mean us old folks who graduated high school in the late 90s. Listen. All I'm saying is, everyone knows what's in those cups. And by everyone, I mean your mom, dad, teachers, siblings, soccer coaches and grandparents (because lets face it. Nana and Papa are hittin' up FB nowadays, too). No one in their right mind is thinking you're drinking lemonade or McDonald's Sweet Tea. Uh-uh. No siree. We know what's in there . . . we just don't want to see it displayed in 70 of the 71 photos you added yesterday. We can all do without.

3. Birdies. I'm not talking about golf. I'm talkin' about the middle finger you shove into someone's face because you're really ticked off at what they did. Guys, it's an expression of anger, not something you pose with in a picture of you and your best friend lookin' all cute-like. Now, I'm not going to sit here and tell you I haven't thrown a couple around in my day. I have, and mostly at bad drivers. The point I'm trying to make is that it's not meant to be pretty. So please, please stop parading it around in your photo albums. I'm so sick of seeing kids trying to make The Birdie look cool and fun. It's not. Just not.

4. Inappropriate Vaguebooking. If you want to Vaguebook, that's fine. Everyone does it. Even me. But IVing is a no-no, and I mean for all ages. Updates like, "BLANK wonders if giving it up was worth it" or "BLANK feels dazed and oh-so-confused" or "BLANK hates certain smells after certain crazy nights with certain people". Gross. Seriously, just because you're not jumping straight to the point in your updates doesn't mean we can't kinda', sorta' guess what you're implying, and it's making us gag and dry heave. Don't post stuff like that. I've seen 12-year-olds participate in some pretty disgusting IVs, and I just don't get it. Mama and Daddy, where are you? I KNOW YOU SEE THOSE UPDATES. WHY AREN'T YOU DOING SOMETHING ABOUT THEM?

Frankly, I could list tons more, but I'm tired. What did I miss in my list? I will say this, though. Parents, gain some control and start practicing some, oh I don't know, good parenting. It can be tough at times (believe me, I know) but it's so worth it to have your child grow up to be an upstanding individual rather than a d-bag who bullies his way through life. Oh, and FB? This is not just a problem with you. It's every single social networking site out there. But maybe if you created a "Dislike" icon, these chaps would start to get the picture. Just a thought.

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