The Ex-Girlfriend That Just Won't Go Away

Recently, a friend of mine had the misfortune of dealing with The Ex-Girlfriend That Just Won't Go Away. Not directly, thank goodness. Otherwise, I would've had to drive my not-so-happy arse two and a half hours west to gut punch the ex. I mean, really? Do we really need to worry about these twits who can't grasp the meaning of Y'ALL ARE BROKEN UP!? It got me thinking about when I had to deal with my EGTJWGA. I was young and stupid, so I'm certain I handled it immaturely. My friend, on the other hand, is handling it like a champ. (I'm giving you a "Holla!" right now, friend!)

Anyway, to all you EGTJWGAs out there: Get over it, heifers. You and your manfriend broke up, so stop calling and hanging up (you're obviously not up to speed on the wonders of technology); stop leaving vague text messages (because women are masters at decoding that jank. We can read right through your I'm in town tonight texts. Stop it.); and if, God forbid, you live in the same town, everything (and I mean everything) related to him is OFF LIMITS, including but not limited to: his house, favorite bar, favorite restaurant, favorite drive-thru, etc. You get the point. LAY OFF. Don't even think about "accidentally" showing up at any of those places. It's lame. And it only makes you look like a ra-tard. Thank you. Now, go find someone else to annoy.

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